Social media’s impact on teens is concerning. As a parent, you probably are not surprised by the recent news highlighting the negative correlation between social media and teens.
Inundated with messages about beauty, weight, and the life teen girls “should be living,” self-esteem plummets. We also know disordered eating is on the rise since COVID. This rise is due to the barrage of images and information infiltrating girls’ feeds. Frankly, it is not helpful. These messages affect tween and teen girls specifically in a harmful way because their brains are not fully developed. With the prefrontal cortex not working at its full capacity, girls have difficulty making good decisions for themselves at times. Poor decision making includes when to put down their devices and stop scrolling and how to think critically about the images and information presented.
What parents can do regarding social media’s impact on teens
Parents and other adults benefit to teach teens about how to recognize when their use goes from fun to feeling negative. If girls can check in with themselves as they are using, girls learn cues to let them know it’s time to put the phone down. Recognizing they are feeling sad, angry, hurt, or jealous are all signs to move onto something else. They can try again later or maybe the next day to see if they are finding joy in their use.
In addition, taking a big break from social media has major benefits if you are concerned about its impact on teens. I cannot tell you how many girls I have seen in my practice who were afraid to take a break. They didn’t want to miss out! Eventually those same girls took up the challenge of taking a break, coming to find joy in being disconnected from their devices. It surprises many girls how removing themselves from social media helps them feel better and have more time. Teens also rediscover things they like to do, like being outside, reading, baking, and spending time with friends and family. Most of the girls I see who are willing to take the challenge of disengaging with social media are often older teens and young adults. Unfortunately, younger girls often decline this challenge, feeling it too socially risky to be disconnected.
Social media has some benefits
While we know there is some harm being on social media, we also know it’s the way kids connect. It’s also a way teens get information. Getting craft ideas, makeup tips, room inspiration, and building their friends up with positive comments are all examples of ways social media can be helpful and healthy for our girls.
Research shows the later girls start using social media, the better. Parents can do their daughters a real service by holding off on social media. Waiting until they are teens and then starting slowly with one platform at a time is a great idea. Another way parents are helpful when it comes to social media is setting limits early on. Don’t wait until she is 16 years old. Parents who never set limits and try to years later often end up with a big battle. If your daughter is used to having limits on her devices, she will expect to not have free rein. This will keep peace in the home.
Parents need to lead the way
It is a parents’ job to prioritize their daughter’s mental health. Parents need to remember, in most cases, you own her device and the data she is using. You have the power to say yes or no to what she is doing. You also have power over how she is using her device.
If you are concerned about how social media is impacting her, you need to do something about it. Many parents feel helpless, disempowered, and throw their hands up in the air when social media becomes a problem. Taking no action is not helpful. Have a conversation with your daughter about your concerns and come up with a plan to better support her. If she was getting poor grades, you wouldn’t ignore it. You’d talk to her and figure out how to help her be successful. The same theory applies here. Part of your job as a parent is to guide her towards living her best life and help her when she is struggling.
If you are concerned about social media’s impact on teens, know you aren’t alone. Wise Girl Workshops offers many in person, virtual, school based, on demand and community workshops to best support families. In fact, a few local schools have hired Wise Girl Workshops to give workshops directly to their girls and parents this fall. Those schools include The Spring Hill School in Petaluma, CA and Good Shepherd Lutheran School in Novato, CA. If you would like Wise Girl Workshops to offer an event for your school or group, send an email here.
Here’s to growing Wise Girls!
