Thought-provoking question:
What groups of friends do you have?
Stay at home parent friends?
Work friends?
Playgroup friends?
Friends you grew up with?
College friends?
Workout friends?
Neighborhood friends?
Family members who are like friends?
Book club friends?
And once you’ve come up with your list, what does each of those groups/people provide you? What makes them unique and different from each other? Because my guess is, there are different benefits to each of those friendships.
Younger Girl Friendships
A lot of times when people are younger, they think they need a best friend. They need someone to give that friendship necklace or bracelet to, to symbolize to all their peers that they have their person. And if they aren’t wearing something to symbolize their friendship, many girls aren’t shy about literally announcing it—saving a seat, or showing through their body language who their “best friend” is.
In fact, I remember in 6th grade, Margaret and I going to Dahlkemper’s jewelry store. It was there we proudly picked out our gold heart split in two. And when people asked, as they did, I could say that Margaret was mine.
But in the end, Margaret wasn’t my forever person. In fact, she’s barely someone who pops up on my Facebook feed now. Within the next year after those necklaces, I had moved on and found people I connected with even more. Through sports, interests, and my drive to be liked, I found connections better suited to who I wanted to become.
All but one of those people have drifted off, and she boils down to being the sole member of my “solid friends I grew up with” category. She gives me a grounding presence, helps with my mom as they both live in my hometown, and is someone I have a blast with whenever I go back East. She is not someone I talk to about psychology, politics, child rearing, or owning a business with. We have very different lives, and I love her so much.
Different Kinds of Girl Friendships
Over the years, I’ve developed different kinds of friendships. My running partner is someone I can talk with about my marriage, kids, and being an entrepreneur. My therapy colleagues are people I can give and receive support from when it comes to work challenges. Some of them have been with me long enough to tap into our personal sides of life. Tina is my spiritual and adventure friend, and we love to talk books, theories, and how to better our lives.
Then there are friends I needed for a time. My St. Vincent de Paul Elementary and Liberty School mom friends were wonderful when I was there, as well as the Petaluma Mother’s Club playgroup mamas I had for about four years—until our kids all went to different schools. We held on for a bit, but the natural erosion and gravitational pull toward our kids’ current friends’ families moved us apart.
Whether those friendships faded or endured, one thing is clear to me: there is no one friend who can give me everything. All of my friends, in all their glorious roles, have a unique place in what we have to offer each other.
Is this true for you as well?
What Makes Us Different
That understanding is part of what makes Wise Girls different. We create a space rooted in intentional agreements around inclusion and kindness, revisiting them at each workshop. While belonging can’t be forced, we purposefully design an environment that gives our members meaningful opportunities to feel included and connected.
If your daughter could benefit from a space where new friendships are nurtured, we invite you to consider one of our workshop experiences. If she could use another place to be seen, heard, and held, this may be a meaningful stop along her friendship journey.
Here’s to growing Wise Girls and Youth!
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