Important Life Lessons–This weekend, I took my 16 year old daughter on a warm fall hike in a neighboring Northern California town. On this outing, with a curious heart, I invited her to share about what she’d like more or less of from me as her mom. She’s very kind as she shared her likes and dislikes and compared me to other moms she knows. She then took a big breath and discloses, “I wish you’d take me to Starbucks more.” The big breath is because she knows I don’t like going to Starbucks for a number of reasons, of which I’ll spare you.
Sharing Important Life Lessons
I acknowledge her desire for more Starbucks outings with me. In turn, I calmly explain why I am some of the way I am. I begin to share what I really want her to learn from me. Like how hiking and the outdoors is a way for her to really get in touch with herself. I tell her she’s not going to find herself in Bath and Body Works while sniffing a gingerbread scented lotion. She’s also not going to find herself in a Venti Carmel Frappuccino. I share that there’s a good chance she’ll find herself out here.
I let her know for me it is mostly in moving intentionally—hiking, yoga, running, etc—where I make genuine contact with my Self. In addition, ideas flow, clarity is gained, and I always feel better. Not only that, but I experience gratitude every time I’m on the trail, on my mat, or immersed in nature. I believe that contact is life sustaining and contributes to my mental wellness.
I tell her that while having cozy pajamas, a tasty drink, or a great moisturizer might do the same for her, the pjs will wear and the drink and moisturizer will run out. But nature is forever. And so is my love.
And woven into our conversation is the desire for her to also BE and discover herself. Something she’ll do over and over because being and discovering are lifelong processes. So if Starbucks is a part of her quest, I’ll take her there. I’ll join her where she’s at, and keep dawning my message about what I see as really important in this life. I’ll also listen to her as she has been and always will be one of my greatest teachers.
In the mean time, I hope my love and guidance carves a trail she can knowingly take anytime. I hope she’ll always remember her happiness is wherever she sets her feet. And I hope as she continues to grow, she’ll understand how my love is wrapped in nature and all she has to do is make contact with it to feel me holding her.
What Are Your Messages
As parents, we all have different ideas about what important life lessons are. What we really want our daughters to walk away with. If you are struggling to find your voice or identify your important values, please don’t hesitate to reach out and schedule a parent coaching session. In addition, Brene Brown has some great tools to help you clarify your values. Check out her values list at here to help you gain more clarity on what’s important to you!
