One Parent’s Journey
I’d like to tell you about one parent’s journey of how to let kids go. To be honest, this is my journey!
This past weekend I took my daughter 2+ hours from home to celebrate her Sweet 16 with a trip to the Santa Cruz Beach and Boardwalk with her bestie.
I thought all week about how I would spend my time in Santa Cruz while the girls were off at the Boardwalk. Continuing to debate on what I would do even on the car ride down. I had packed my gear for day hiking but wondered if I should helicopter around. I mean, we were far from home, she doesn’t really know her way around, and you know…what if?
I asked her what she wanted from me and with no surprise and in a joyful tone, she answered “Nothing!” In actuality, she wanted my money put on her debit card, but that’s a given!
Going With The Flow
So I opted to go with the flow. First stop, I’d drop them off and grab a sandwich. As our car meandered up to the entrance, she said a quick, “Good-bye, I love you,” and they rushed out of the car. “Oh, that was easy,” I thought.
I chauffeured myself to a deli with decent reviews and settled into my parking spot. Then, it happened quicker than I thought. That drop in the stomach sort of feeling. I called her right away to make sure they got their wristbands and were ok. No answer.
I figured they could be in line or navigating the Boardwalk, so I moved quickly to order my sandwich. As I waited in line, I called again. Minutes later I sent a text. Trying to appear non-helicoptery I send a “How’s it going?” With no response, I started to slightly freak out. “Breathe mama,” I thought to myself as I envisioned the sex trafficking criminals lurking over my daughter. “Keep breathing.” More minutes passed, and I shot a demanding text message. “Text me right now.” Nothing.
I knew she was doing something fun and not avoiding me, but I grabbed my sandwich and hustled back to the car. Looks like I’m going to have to go rescue my kid. As the seatbelt clicked, her call came in. “Sorry mom! We’ve already been on 3 rides! Everything’s great! Yes, go for your hike. I’ll be in touch.”
Heading Out On My Own
As I placed the car in park and dug into my thinly sliced turkey on sourdough, I am reminded again of just how hard it is to let go of chartering the helicopter and the drive to protect and control that’s came from 16 years of parenting.
But in a world full of terrible things, I know I’ve raised a daughter who is going to make mistakes but also who has a good head on her shoulders. This is where I need to trust.
With both our Life360s on and my ringer turned up high, I take a short drive to Wilder Ranch State Park. I put on my hiking shoes and begin to take some steps. I’ve never been to this park, and I’m not sure all where to go. I walked slowly at first, navigating the land. Eventually, I picked up speed and confidence as I got further from the car.
On this hike I endured jump scares by two different turkeys on two separate occasions. I took a different path than I thought I had and got a little disoriented. I saw snakes which make me terribly uncomfortable and the softer side with dragon flies, song birds, and a bunny. I felt scared at times and also struck by the jaw dropping beauty only nature can bring.
The Parenting Journey
But this is parenting right? New territory, jump scares, path confusion, different beings to encounter like your children’s friends and teachers, and the immense beauty of this whole parenting journey wrapped in awe and fear.
After 7 miles, I got back to the car and called. She’s doing great, doesn’t need me, and how about I meet het at 5pm.
I decided I’ve got time enough to take the Coastal Bluff Trail and put on a few more miles filled with the most exquisite views. I take a moment to stand close to the edge of the continent and acknowledge the vast openness.
Looking out I can see parenting is a lot like this spectacular view of the ocean. I don’t know whats out there. It’s big and feels dangerous. But it’s also a huge empty canvas, filled with so many opportunities. And for goodness sakes…If I learned one thing in all my years of parenting, it’s that Nemo lives out there (we lived with that movie on repeat in the early years). And he finds friends along his way, like Dori and the cool sea turtle, who help him grow. Just like Nemo, my kids will have their own people to help them find their way. I’m just one of them.
Thanks for reading about one parent’s journey!
Here’s to growing Wise Girls 
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